“What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned from a Mistake You’ve Made in the Past?”
As you all know, I love to read. I often blog about what inspires me about something in particular that I read. I love sharing these “aha” moments with you readers because I think it could make such a positive change in your life and work in education.
You also know I am transitioning into a new chapter of going out and leading teachers in new ways than I ever have done before. With that said, my dad passed on a book he thought fit my current situation and could provide some helpful insight. It’s called, “Lean In- Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg. She is highly successful with her numerous leadership roles at both Google and Facebook. She points out that women and men are just as capable for any job, but men tend to dominate higher leadership roles in companies because they are confident in their capabilities and go after the job. Women, for numerous reasons, don’t “lean in” to the opportunities, rather wait to be called upon. So, we have less women leaders not because of a lack of ability, but due to a lack of belief that they themselves can do the job. I think of it as women feel safe as backstage leaders and allow men to continue being the on stage leaders. We have to step up our game, ladies!
I have just started reading Sheryl’s book and can’t wait to see what truths she unlocks further in her book. But, for now, I want to discuss something that resonated with me. She happened to mention one interview question that separates men and women from landing “the” job. From the title of this post, you already know the question… “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from a mistake you’ve made in the past?”
Men are courageous in answering this question, outlining their past mistakes and showcasing their skill to persevere through it to achieve success. Women hear this question and immediately start second guessing the reason they applied for said job and what they possibly can contribute. Hearing this question about a mistake they’ve made, they start thinking of every mistake and every reason NOT to have the job. Men only see every reason TO have the job. This internal struggle women face is what is holding us back from taking more risks that lead to more opportunities for success and career advancement.
I challenged myself to answer this question. I can’t say that I have the same immediate fears most women do about their inadequacy for the role they are applying for, but I do start thinking if my answer demonstrates the attributes they are looking for. In a sense, instead of just going with whatever comes to my head first, I start trying to outsmart the situation and give them what they are looking for. I realized I am wasting so much time trying to figure out what they want to hear, that I am wasting the opportunity to say what I have to offer. In essence, I hold myself back like Sheryl describes. I should be bold and share my first answer with conviction, whether I think its the right answer or not. The conviction and passion in my response could be what they want, not the actual answer itself. This internal struggle is a huge waste of time and energy. I’ve sabotaged myself before I even shared my answer.
Let me take the pressure off, and pretend its not for “the” job, but just a best friend asking me out of curiosity. <deep breath>
The most important lesson I have learned from a mistake I have made in the past is:
I don’t have to be in charge to be a leader. [spp-tweet tweet=””]
I spent most of my teaching career doing all the talking and orchestrating efficient and orderly classrooms. My students achieved their benchmarks and learned a lot of life lessons, but they were not in the driver’s seat… I was. Did I prepare them to be successful in the next grade level? Yes. Did I prepare them to be successful in the real world? Probably not. I wish I could take the last 3 years in the classroom and redo the first 5 so that I created opportunities for students to problem solve, critically think, collaborate and take risks. I made my classroom a safe place, but I was always in charge so my students never stepped up to the plate because they never had to. I held hands in more way than one. I wish I didn’t answer my own questions, come to my student’s beckon call, mark up their papers, or tell and show instead of probe and prod. My students did everything I asked of them, but they never learned to depend on themselves or work together to innovate and create. I could beat myself up over this but instead I think I’ll just say that its the most important lesson I learned from a mistake I made in the past and I am better off for it.
So, now I challenge you to answer the question. Be bold and act with conviction- you are worth of “the” job!
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from a mistake you’ve made in the past?
About the author, Gretchen
I am a teacher trainer and coach. Working elbow to elbow with teachers and teacher leaders to ensure instructional proficiency and student achievement soar lights me up. We have a real need in our nation for strong educators to remain in the field. My blog, book, podcast, courses and instructional materials are geared towards empowering teachers (and those that lead them) to receive the support needed to grow and thrive today, tomorrow and always.