Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 3

Time for my third edition of “Students Say the Darndest Things!” (See Volume 1 and 2 for additional laughs!) As always, these are phrases I catch coming from my own students’ mouths!

Section One: No background knowledge needed!

1) T: How are you? / S: The real question is, how are YOU?!

2) S: These eye lashes are growing so much its like a jungle on my eyes!

3) S: This scarf  itches, but beauty is pain!

4) S: When I was a baby I was really loud and annoying- it was my thing.

Section Two: Background information needed

5) [Golf Course Field Trip]  T: Are you a pro? / S: Yup. I do it my own way. It’s called “cheating.” You’re in for a treat when I swing!

6) [Christmas music plays in the background as students are working]  S: When you play this Christmas music, I envision myself as an elf busy in a workshop!

Section Three– Bonus edition: My own commentary!

9) [After a read-aloud] S: This story stinks! The author needs to add more details-like it says castle but where is it? like Ohio or something? I mean come on, you get paid to do this!

I was astounded by this comment! How insightful! Apparently my students DO listen during writing as we talk about features an author includes to strengthen a story. In fact, this student might just be a future journalist or editor-in-chief! 

10) S: I need water… [5 min later] Can I get water? [5 min later…] Who’s group am I in? / T: Who will you be responsible with? / S: Well, I am just so thirsty that’s why I’m asking.

Please don’t judge me. But students whine all day about “needing” something and they tend to forget after 5 minutes. So I created a rule- well, students don’t know of my rule, but I do! If a student asks more than once and after a period of time longer than 5 minutes, they may really “need” whatever they are asking for. It turns out, this child was parched and once allowed to visit the water fountain came back to class and worked productively for the rest of the period. Nonetheless, I found his effort to squeeze in one last request for water quite cheeky. I certainly laughed, and still do today. 

11) T: Did you fall asleep in the cafeteria? / S: Yup. / T: Why? / S: I saw something disturbing on TV the other night and I couldn’t fall asleep the past 3 nights. The good news is that I am getting  an iphone!

This is the NORM in my class. They say the most RANDOM things ALL OF THE TIME. I have to learn to read between the lines to make sense of half of their statements. So here goes my translation…  The student fell asleep in the cafeteria because they could not fall asleep the night before. It turns out they saw something on TV that scared them and kept them up all night. The student knew the teacher’s reaction would be “awww, I am so sorry” and quickly assured the teacher that life was going to be okay and not to feel too bad because he will be getting a new iphone soon.    How’d I do?! 🙂 

12) S: I need to teach my mom how to write in English.  She teaches me how to tie my shoes. It’s so hard, it’s like I need a manual or something.

And this right here is why I LOVE my students. They take the initiative to make those around them more skilled in various areas while still working on polishing skills of their own. I must say I am quite impressed that the child is fluent in a language (to me a hard skill) but struggles to tie his own shoes (a rather simple skill). Either way, he is helping better his family as they better himself. That’s a beautiful thing! 

What funny comments do your children/students say? Share below!

About the author, Gretchen

I am a teacher trainer and coach. Working elbow to elbow with teachers and teacher leaders to ensure instructional proficiency and student achievement soar lights me up. We have a real need in our nation for strong educators to remain in the field. My blog, book, podcast, courses and instructional materials are geared towards empowering teachers (and those that lead them) to receive the support needed to grow and thrive today, tomorrow and always.

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