Dare to Live Greatly REFLECTION
I recently read an article entitled “Dare to Live Greatly,” written by Brene Brown. It resonated with me for numerous reasons and made me begin a journey of reflection.
Below are quotes I pulled out of the article, followed by the thoughts it provoked inside me.
“Vulnerability is about uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.”
Most people are proud. We as a culture project confidence in order to convince others of our capabilities. So it’s almost counterintuitive to show vulnerability. We all suffer from it, but we have become masters of disguise. Brene continued, “I practice being vulnerable. Every time I give a talk, I have to consciously choose. It’s about…having the courage to see the armor I’ve put on and to take it off.” When we strip the act we’re trying so hard to portray, we expose our fears, anxieties, and insecurities lying within. Being vulnerable is uncomfortable because of this exposure. Its risky to have others see that we might not have it all together, or that we might not be all that we made others believe that we are. But, where does covering our vulnerability get us? We become unreachable to others. They cannot break down the wall we build. They cannot unmask our exterior. We block a relationship from forming because we keep others at a distance to only see our best, most collected side. In the end, things crumble. You’re alone without anyone to commiserate with and you begin to look back at your “perfect” journey and wonder where you turned off the main road. The moment you stopped showing your human side, you lost the connection. Vulnerability is relatable and makes others feel safe and connected. So really, a powerful leader shows their scars and insecurities. In doing so, a team of people is formed out of a shared emotional connection and the relationship catapults the collective mission onward.
“Relationship is the currency of leadership. Leaders who are willing to be transparent and authentic are people we’re eager to support.”
This summer I have enjoyed being a Teacher Development Coach for new teachers in the district. My instinct is to portray a cool, calm, and collected disposition in addition to being deeply knowledgeable. That makes it really hard to be approachable and relatable. I realized I needed to smile, laugh, and be as personable as possible in order to connect with my new teachers. They want my knowledge and expertise without the stoic persona. I had to figure out how to remain confident, yet vulnerable. It is hard to do both, in my opinion. But after a few months, I have been able to find more of a balance between the two and feel much more accomplished as a leader who is receptive to those I instruct.
It’s all about relationships and being your self even when in an authoritative position. When the mission changes from “you and I” to “we” you instantaneously become surrounded by a team of people pushing forward towards a common vision.
“Have the courage to show up, to be imperfect, be human, be seen, ask for help, own our mistakes, learn from failure, lean into joy, and celebrate success.” Who would have thought that the most effective leader is one who doesn’t know all the answers? Maybe it’s that they lean on their team and find the solution together. Not only does that raise accountability within the team, but the buy-in to the mission increases tenfold! Showing up to work when you’re uncertain of an outcome or how to solve a problem is risky and uncomfortable. But when you accept the fact that you do not know it all, you share that with those around you and move forward together. If you make a mistake, own it and keep moving. No one is perfect and there’s no reason to convey anything different.
My family is great about celebrating success, even in the little things. We have a red plate that says “You are Special Today!” This plate comes out of the cabinets for dinner in honor of something great happening to a member of the family. Together we eat and celebrate that person’s accomplishment.
This should prove true with leadership as well. Accept the things that don’t go well, make a new plan, and celebrate when things develop successfully. My dad always says that life is full of “peaks and valleys” and you need to enjoy each peak so that you can make it through each valley. The leader creates the culture for this shared failure and success mentality.
“A leader is anyone who holds her or himself accountable for finding the potential in people and processes. “
I couldn’t agree more. I have learned that a leader is not the most knowledgeable one in the room, but the one that brings everyone together, finds the best in everyone, cultivates opportunities for others to showcase their talents or grow in an area of weakness, and celebrate the collective efforts towards a common goal. This is unlike how I used to view a leader- one who had all the answers, a multitude of experiences in the field, and always made the right decision. I am much more excited to be a leader now that I know I can just be me without the pressure of being perfect. I need to focus on bringing others together through my vulnerability and vision.
What does effective leadership look and sound like to you?
About the author, Gretchen
I am a teacher trainer and coach. Working elbow to elbow with teachers and teacher leaders to ensure instructional proficiency and student achievement soar lights me up. We have a real need in our nation for strong educators to remain in the field. My blog, book, podcast, courses and instructional materials are geared towards empowering teachers (and those that lead them) to receive the support needed to grow and thrive today, tomorrow and always.