Students say the darndest things!

My students crack me up on a daily basis. I rarely have time to stop and write down what they say, but over time I have collected a few of their funny comments. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do (especially on a bad day!):

• Students had to create their own holiday. One student gave her reason for the holiday as “I pick women day because they need peace with all these kids.”
• One student was a repeat offender of getting on “Red” (our behavior management stop light), and had to write a statement about how to improve. She wrote, “When I get on the bus I am going to sit down and turn my brain on so when I go to class I will be ready to learn.”
• Students had to write a friendly letter to a relative, and although I do not consider a mother a “relative,” I let it go: “I can’t stop thinking about the holidays that are coming up. On 11/16/06 my mom cooked the best food in her life. Which is string beans, chicken.”
• In a conversation between a student and a teacher: T: Does your mom know you have a girlfriend? S: Yea, we were on the phone last night. T: So are you two dating? S: I don’t know. T: Why do you say that? S: Because what if she gains a little bit of weight? [Thank goodness this wasn’t my student because I surely would have had A LOT to say about that!!]
• Students collected pictures from magazines of things they like in order to decorate their writing notebook. In conferencing, I asked students to tell me why they chose specific pictures. “The reason I chose this pic [perfume] is because it smells good and I like the color. How I put it on is first I spray up and down and walk in it. But you have to close your eyes or else your eyes will burn.” True statement!
• Students had to write about a time they were surprised. This child did not stay on topic, but the message was clear: “Some kids is so mean to people and that do not make people a good person. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
• Test question: How do scientists measure an earthquake? A student answered: “On the Richard Scale.”
• One student made up his own word when describing me: “Ms. Schultek is prettyful.” Of course, I let it go 🙂
• A student complained to me about another student, saying “[She] is cutting in front of me. Sometimes I wish I could give her a piece of my mind.”
• At recess one day, I was chatting with some students on the bench. I mentioned I was sunburnt. One student turns to me and says, “That’s what happens when you’re white.”

And the one that takes the cake:

“Ms. [Teacher], can I talk to you in private? I took a dump in my pants.”  [the action was not funny, just the student’s choice of words…everything was taken care of without another student knowing!)

I hope you got a chuckle out of reading this! I know I enjoyed typing it up remembering all the students from my past. A shout out to all of them for their witty comments! I treasure them immensely.

Share some of your hilarious students’ comments!

About the author, Gretchen

I am a teacher trainer and coach. Working elbow to elbow with teachers and teacher leaders to ensure instructional proficiency and student achievement soar lights me up. We have a real need in our nation for strong educators to remain in the field. My blog, book, podcast, courses and instructional materials are geared towards empowering teachers (and those that lead them) to receive the support needed to grow and thrive today, tomorrow and always.

• Links:
• Twitter
• Website
• Google +
• Facebook