Students say the darndest things!

My students crack me up on a daily basis. I rarely have time to stop and write down what they say, but over time I have collected a few of their funny comments. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do (especially on a bad day!):

• Students had to create their own holiday. One student gave her reason for the holiday as “I pick women day because they need peace with all these kids.”
• One student was a repeat offender of getting on “Red” (our behavior management stop light), and had to write a statement about how to improve. She wrote, “When I get on the bus I am going to sit down and turn my brain on so when I go to class I will be ready to learn.”
• Students had to write a friendly letter to a relative, and although I do not consider a mother a “relative,” I let it go: “I can’t stop thinking about the holidays that are coming up. On 11/16/06 my mom cooked the best food in her life. Which is string beans, chicken.”
• In a conversation between a student and a teacher: T: Does your mom know you have a girlfriend? S: Yea, we were on the phone last night. T: So are you two dating? S: I don’t know. T: Why do you say that? S: Because what if she gains a little bit of weight? [Thank goodness this wasn’t my student because I surely would have had A LOT to say about that!!]
• Students collected pictures from magazines of things they like in order to decorate their writing notebook. In conferencing, I asked students to tell me why they chose specific pictures. “The reason I chose this pic [perfume] is because it smells good and I like the color. How I put it on is first I spray up and down and walk in it. But you have to close your eyes or else your eyes will burn.” True statement!
• Students had to write about a time they were surprised. This child did not stay on topic, but the message was clear: “Some kids is so mean to people and that do not make people a good person. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
• Test question: How do scientists measure an earthquake? A student answered: “On the Richard Scale.”
• One student made up his own word when describing me: “Ms. Schultek is prettyful.” Of course, I let it go 🙂
• A student complained to me about another student, saying “[She] is cutting in front of me. Sometimes I wish I could give her a piece of my mind.”
• At recess one day, I was chatting with some students on the bench. I mentioned I was sunburnt. One student turns to me and says, “That’s what happens when you’re white.”

And the one that takes the cake:

“Ms. [Teacher], can I talk to you in private? I took a dump in my pants.”  [the action was not funny, just the student’s choice of words…everything was taken care of without another student knowing!)

I hope you got a chuckle out of reading this! I know I enjoyed typing it up remembering all the students from my past. A shout out to all of them for their witty comments! I treasure them immensely.

Share some of your hilarious students’ comments!