I am so very thankful that one post I created a few months back showcasing the humor of my kiddos has turned in to an entire series on my blog. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy hearing them in the moment and rushing to a piece of paper to jot it down!

Stop in to read other funny moments in the series (Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Volume 5, Volume 6, and Volume 7)!

Drum Roll Please….  Here we go!

One Liners:

• S: Ms Schultek, this book has bad words in it. I mean it has words I didn’t even know until now.
• S: My brother fell and got scraped here…here… and here. It was gross. I mean you could see his meat!

Conversations:

• T:  Are you day dreaming? S: Yes! How’d you know? T: Just a hunch…
• S: Ms. Schultek, do you know what is really, Really, REALLY itchy?  T: What? Your sweater?  S: No, my weave.
• S: I like Porsches. My mom almost died once. T: Wow, that was random. I hope your mom is okay. S: Oh yea, she’s fine. That was a long time ago. I like the red ones.
• T: What is this animal called? S: A water chicken. T: Um, actually this is called a duck.

Background Information Needed:

• [After eating lunch] S: Man, oh man, am I full! I think I won’t be able to learn the rest of today [wink , wink]
• [During a writing marathon day] S: Can we have a running marathon day? I need me some of that.
• [Lining up to go inside from recess] It’s so hot out here I am dying a serious death
• S: Can I be excused? I need to pass some gas.  [points to the hall] T: [cannot stop laughing] At least you’re polite!

What is the funniest comment you have heard a child say? Please share!

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 8 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

Spring Break was refreshing for all of us, wasn’t it? Apparently it was very relaxing for the kiddos, as they came back as humorous as ever. Generally it takes a few weeks to a month to collect funny comments for the next post in this series; but not this time! In ONE day I had an entire post written!! (Yes, I spent the day laughing hysterically!)

[Check out the previous posts in this series- Vol 1, Vol 2, Vol 3, Vol 4, Vol 5, Vol 6]

A Little Background Needed:

• (After recess)  S: I have sweat stains now. Want to see?
• (After jumping to high five our extremely tall cafeteria monitor)  S: “You want to know something? My legs never fail me”
• (During Guided Reading Groups)  T: Can you give me a synonym for the word “mad”?  S: pissed?
• (When correcting a students paper I noticed they wrote “trapt” for “trapped”.) T: What happens to words in the past?  S: They get erased?

[ was looking for her to say “they end in ‘Ed'” …but I like her response better!]

• (When teaching about government services and the importance that each job plays in our everyday life) T: What would happen without trash pick up? What would the result be?  S: It would pile up in your own yard.  (Another) S: No! Just put it in someone else’s!
• (While walking in from recess I overhear something)  S: Love you, love you, love you!  T: Did you really just say “I love you” to her? S: I may or may not have a secret crush. T: Well I don’t think its a secret now!
• (A child was following me around copying everything I said) T: My name is Caleb and I am being annoying. S: My name is… uh WAIT!  (another) S: My name is Ms. Schultek and I’m 86 years old.   #touche

One Liners:

• S: The girls chased me all recess. T: Why is that?  S: It’s bc I’m good looking.
• (different) S: I am hot in so many ways!
• S: I have a very important question to ask you…do you know the muffin man?

Which comment was your favorite? Have any to add to this post- share below!

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 7 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

I am blessed to write another funny post in dedication to the many funny kiddos I come across each day- YOU make my job worth it a million times over!

[See previous Students Say the Darndest Things here- Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Volume 5]

 Setting the Stage:

• As a student was gathering all of their books to exit the classroom to transition to math class, she stated “so many books, so little time!”
• A student was showing me their mood necklace and explained what each color meant. Then she said,  “This should be illegal. It just does whatever it wants.”
• When a bus didn’t arrive on time, a student commented “Our bus driver can’t stand us so she doesn’t follow the schedule.”
• During read-aloud the kids were very out of it and tired. I happened to make a comment about their non responsiveness, and a student replied “I think we all need some coffee to wake up!”
• When learning how to use loom bands I said “this is so hard” and a student responded “that’s because you’re old.”
• When students were huddled together talking, the hallway behavior monitor said: “What is this? A party over here? I don’t think so!” [I am pretty sure they picked that one up from me!]
  

Conversations:

• S: Did you know bad people take off door knobs on people’s houses and then sell them at the pawn shop?

         T: How do you know that?

         S: I saw it on I-Witness News

• S: You like Anna!

          S: We do not have a relationship. There is NO future.

• S to the T: You lost your patience? Are you a doctor or something? It’s not good to lose your patients.
• S to the T: You’re lucky with your light hair. My dark hair is so hot out here. I’m like dieing.
• S: Someone told me I have bad breath.

S: Yea I don’t like people talking bad about my friends.

S to the T: Don’t worry we took care of it.

Please share funny comments your students/children say below!

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 6 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

It’s that time again! What brings me the most joy at my job is my relationships with students. Often times, these relationships offer nuggets of humor that brighten my day. [Stop by to read Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, and Volume 4!]

Below is the latest compilation of my students’ humor:

• T: The character was making a contradiction when she said not to do one thing but went and did that very thing/ S: My mom does that!

• T: This bone is your hip bone [pointing to hip] / S: SHAKIRA SHAKIRA she shakes that bone

• T: You just cut in front of a lady / S: Who cares? Its time to go!

• S: I’m like a girl with all of this wind going through my hair [points to long hair on top of his head]

• I wrote a note to a child about him having a great personality. He came to my desk and replied: Sometimes I have too much personality. And to which I replied: Yes, yes you do.

• S: I just experienced something I have never experienced before- Alanah talks! [referencing a shy student]

• T: I want it so quiet I can hear a pin drop./ S: What about a pencil? [Students start dropping pencils in unison}

• S: 100 dollars was a lot of money back then. But today it’s like a dollar to most people

• S: My sister is a terrorist …her cuteness keeps her alive

• S: Today I get ungrounded FREEEEDOM!

• S: Did you know bad people take off door knobs on people’s houses and them sell them at the pawn shop?/ T: How do you know that? / S: I saw it on I-Witness News

What funny things do your students/children say? Share below!

.

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 5 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

The best part of my job is having a good time with my kids! When I forget all the stress of my job, and really connect with my kids as people- man, they are funny! Here is the latest collection of hilarious comments. [click to read Volume 1, Volume 2 and Volume 3]

Cute One Liners:

• “I can’t wait to go to college to get more knowledge!”

• “I’m so glad people join the army. Otherwise everyone would conquer us.”

• “Ms. Schultek, can you scratch right here? I’m a little itchy today.  (points to side of neck)

• “We are your ducklings, Ms. Schultek. We follow you everywhere.”

A Little Background Info Needed:

• With a 2 hour delay the last two days, I had the kids reflect on why the superintendent made this decision in the best interest of kids. One student replied, “We had the delay because the principal and teachers didn’t get their work done on time.”

• When talking to a student that did not turn in their assignment on time I said, ” that’s really unlike you.” To which he responded, “ha, you’d be surprised!

• During a guided reading lesson a student says “I have GOT to pass gas right now. I got to go.” He proceeded to the hallway to relieve himself and we continued right on with the lesson.

• After realizing that a lunch was missing, a student said: “It’s really outdated to steal someone’s lunch. That used to happen a lot in the past.”

• T: “Who knows what a service is?”/ S: “Oh oh me! me !”/ T: “yes?” / S: “Oh wait…I need to get that back into my head. Ugh, I keep doing that!”

• While completing a money worksheet for a business plan in Social Studies, a student said: “Money is my life. Well, you’re not really supposed to have a life at this age, but money is my life.”

Share some of your hilarious students’ comments!

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 4 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

Time for my third edition of “Students Say the Darndest Things!” (See Volume 1 and 2 for additional laughs!) As always, these are phrases I catch coming from my own students’ mouths!

Section One: No background knowledge needed!

1) T: How are you? / S: The real question is, how are YOU?!

2) S: These eye lashes are growing so much its like a jungle on my eyes!

3) S: This scarf  itches, but beauty is pain!

4) S: When I was a baby I was really loud and annoying- it was my thing.

Section Two: Background information needed

5) [Golf Course Field Trip]  T: Are you a pro? / S: Yup. I do it my own way. It’s called “cheating.” You’re in for a treat when I swing!

6) [Christmas music plays in the background as students are working]  S: When you play this Christmas music, I envision myself as an elf busy in a workshop!

Section Three– Bonus edition: My own commentary!

9) [After a read-aloud] S: This story stinks! The author needs to add more details-like it says castle but where is it? like Ohio or something? I mean come on, you get paid to do this!

I was astounded by this comment! How insightful! Apparently my students DO listen during writing as we talk about features an author includes to strengthen a story. In fact, this student might just be a future journalist or editor-in-chief! 

10) S: I need water… [5 min later] Can I get water? [5 min later…] Who’s group am I in? / T: Who will you be responsible with? / S: Well, I am just so thirsty that’s why I’m asking.

Please don’t judge me. But students whine all day about “needing” something and they tend to forget after 5 minutes. So I created a rule- well, students don’t know of my rule, but I do! If a student asks more than once and after a period of time longer than 5 minutes, they may really “need” whatever they are asking for. It turns out, this child was parched and once allowed to visit the water fountain came back to class and worked productively for the rest of the period. Nonetheless, I found his effort to squeeze in one last request for water quite cheeky. I certainly laughed, and still do today. 

11) T: Did you fall asleep in the cafeteria? / S: Yup. / T: Why? / S: I saw something disturbing on TV the other night and I couldn’t fall asleep the past 3 nights. The good news is that I am getting  an iphone!

This is the NORM in my class. They say the most RANDOM things ALL OF THE TIME. I have to learn to read between the lines to make sense of half of their statements. So here goes my translation…  The student fell asleep in the cafeteria because they could not fall asleep the night before. It turns out they saw something on TV that scared them and kept them up all night. The student knew the teacher’s reaction would be “awww, I am so sorry” and quickly assured the teacher that life was going to be okay and not to feel too bad because he will be getting a new iphone soon.    How’d I do?!  

12) S: I need to teach my mom how to write in English.  She teaches me how to tie my shoes. It’s so hard, it’s like I need a manual or something.

And this right here is why I LOVE my students. They take the initiative to make those around them more skilled in various areas while still working on polishing skills of their own. I must say I am quite impressed that the child is fluent in a language (to me a hard skill) but struggles to tie his own shoes (a rather simple skill). Either way, he is helping better his family as they better himself. That’s a beautiful thing! 

What funny comments do your children/students say? Share below!

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 3 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

[See original post here]

One of the greatest things about being a teacher is that I get to witness students being hilarious on a daily basis. It usually comes at the most inopportune or unexpected time, which of course makes it all the more funny! They make each day worth it!

Below is my latest list of student comments:

• “There’s this thing called online dating, you should try it.”
• “Do you wear sunglasses?” T shakes head “Yes.” “You should. Always gotta look good.”
• S: “My water digested.” T: “Ok?” S: So…I gotta go to the bathroom.
• “Ms Schultek, no offense but with that paper clip in your lip, you look like you have a piercing and I just wouldn’t do that.”
• S: “Ms. Schultek, I have always wanted a bloody nose.” T: “WHY?!” S: “For the attention. I really do want it.”
• S: “Do you have anyone famous in your family?” T: “Not that I can think of.” S: “You sure? Like Andrew Jackson or Justin Beiber?”
• T: “Remind me that I have to make copies for math when we get back from recess.” S: Don’t worry, I wont forget. I have a good rememory!”
• When reflecting on their own writing, a student said “I think I’m doing pretty good because I’m even hooked on my own writing!”
• When preparing for our Fire Prevention Bulletin Board on kitchen safety a student said,”If parents get a divorce and one parent has to raise the baby, they have to hold it while cooking.”

And the two comments that take the cake in the SWEETNESS category:

• “When I am a mom, if my child or I had to die I’d choose to die because I lived a long life and they have a lot to still achieve.”
• “I want to be in the army. I’ll sacrifice my life so they don’t have to sacrifice theirs.”

Share some of your hilarious students’ comments!

The post Students Say the Darndest Things- Volume 2 appeared first on Always A Lesson.

My students crack me up on a daily basis. I rarely have time to stop and write down what they say, but over time I have collected a few of their funny comments. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do (especially on a bad day!):

• Students had to create their own holiday. One student gave her reason for the holiday as “I pick women day because they need peace with all these kids.”
• One student was a repeat offender of getting on “Red” (our behavior management stop light), and had to write a statement about how to improve. She wrote, “When I get on the bus I am going to sit down and turn my brain on so when I go to class I will be ready to learn.”
• Students had to write a friendly letter to a relative, and although I do not consider a mother a “relative,” I let it go: “I can’t stop thinking about the holidays that are coming up. On 11/16/06 my mom cooked the best food in her life. Which is string beans, chicken.”
• In a conversation between a student and a teacher: T: Does your mom know you have a girlfriend? S: Yea, we were on the phone last night. T: So are you two dating? S: I don’t know. T: Why do you say that? S: Because what if she gains a little bit of weight? [Thank goodness this wasn’t my student because I surely would have had A LOT to say about that!!]
• Students collected pictures from magazines of things they like in order to decorate their writing notebook. In conferencing, I asked students to tell me why they chose specific pictures. “The reason I chose this pic [perfume] is because it smells good and I like the color. How I put it on is first I spray up and down and walk in it. But you have to close your eyes or else your eyes will burn.” True statement!
• Students had to write about a time they were surprised. This child did not stay on topic, but the message was clear: “Some kids is so mean to people and that do not make people a good person. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
• Test question: How do scientists measure an earthquake? A student answered: “On the Richard Scale.”
• One student made up his own word when describing me: “Ms. Schultek is prettyful.” Of course, I let it go
• A student complained to me about another student, saying “[She] is cutting in front of me. Sometimes I wish I could give her a piece of my mind.”
• At recess one day, I was chatting with some students on the bench. I mentioned I was sunburnt. One student turns to me and says, “That’s what happens when you’re white.”

And the one that takes the cake:

“Ms. [Teacher], can I talk to you in private? I took a dump in my pants.”  [the action was not funny, just the student’s choice of words…everything was taken care of without another student knowing!)

I hope you got a chuckle out of reading this! I know I enjoyed typing it up remembering all the students from my past. A shout out to all of them for their witty comments! I treasure them immensely.

Share some of your hilarious students’ comments!

The post Students say the darndest things! appeared first on Always A Lesson.